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Newt Gingrich
Newton Leroy "Newt" Gingrinch (born June 17, 1943) is the former Speaker of the House (good show) and much like House he is a doctor (ph.d) so you know hes right about the dangers of Obamacare. When every doctor sues Obama he will have been proven correct. He is a person of high moral character and great honesty and is never disingenuous. Early life Gingrich was born and then went to school. He married his math teacher. She was a cougar and literally a bobcat. In the hateful world we live in of liberalism Gingrich found himself alone and confused. He was looking for answers and the only answer was to become a politician and get things done. Politics At the time Gingrich got in politics the libs seemed like they were an indanger species going the way of the dodo. In the 1988 election, George Bush literally destroyed Michael Dukakis. For a while it looked like Dukakis could pull of a miracle but then he released Willie Horton. Heres a hoot, release a criminal from death row and then he rapes youre wife in front of Sam Donaldson, which is what happened after Horton hatches the excellent plan to abduct Kitty Dukakis while her husband poses in a tank. How ironic. At least I think thats what happened I cant really remember. Anyway this all changed when Clinton was elected due to Perot splitting the vote in 1992. Gingrich amassed a lot of power and then when Clinton took office he told the democrats to switch side and they did. Clinton then had to deal with the seats that Gingrinch stole. Christmas was just around the corner and he needed to appease the libs who were becoming even more whackos. Then a disaster happened from the libs going green. Exxon, hampered by the libs efforts to destroy oil, got so distracted they accidentally spilled oil galore accelerating around that boat from Worlds deadliest catch. I forget what I was talking about. After politics Gingrich figured youre only old once and decided to enjoy his twilight years without the stress of dealing with liberals. He eventually became a reporter at FOX News which by then was sweeping the nation. People everywhere were buying FOX Fan gear so they could advertise there love of FOX in socks, shoes or with t shirts. Gingrich helped push them to even greater heights and become the #1 cable news network. Soon Gingrich became appalled at seeing what Obama was doing to America. He was going to ban fishing, outlawing bait and making it illegal to even buy one fish to fish. Red fish, blue fish, and white fish would all be banned because Obama hates the red white and blue. And then theres Obamacare, which would lead to death panels killing you when you reach a certain age. Happy birthday to you! Now march yourself into the ovens, citizen. This led to 0bama having a 0 approval rating. Upon seeing how easy it would be to defeat Obama in 2012, Gingrich figured "Theres a walk. Its in my pocket" and decided to literally throw his hat in the ring. After after politics Libya Gingrich impressed many when he criticized Obama for not getting involved in Libya, then he criticized Obama for getting involved in Libya. After all Obama had not planned ahead at all for a war in Africa, and had not thought much on beyond zebras, lions and gorillas picking up are slack and fighting a ground war battle. This is probably part of his Kenyan mindset. If I ran the zoo or if I can ran the circus maybe I would think the same way, but it defies common sense that jungle animals are going to want to help us, thats just something Ive learned from being American. If Obama grew up around a rotary club maybe he would realize that. Besides, these animals no longer have the power to fight a war due to humans superior technology. I could lick 30 tigers today with no more than a few measly missiles, thats just a fact. Gone are the days when Obama could rely on his friends from the Jungle Book to help him. However Obama is just a warmonger who acts without congressional approval like hes the king. Still to say that he had the power to send troops into a foreign country, thats a new low even for him, and was not done under almost every other president in recent history. Immigration Gingrich has taken a hard stance on immigration, noting that these Mexicans hate are way of life, and want to destroy us. The fact is we dont want to employ you people so go back to youre own country Miguel. I gots pool cleaners and landscapers lined up around the back who are more then happy to work for these shiny nickels. Secular Atheist Radical Islam Gingrich has been one of the few with the courage to point out that we are headed for a country dominated by secular atheism, devoid of religion and God, which will be dominated by Islamist fanatics who force us all to live under their religions rules and laws and worship their god. As an Independent, this makes sense to me. References http://dyn.politico.com/printstory.cfm%3Fuuid%3DFA69C849-0CF8-B928-3126F447E4E7A834